oh no.. i'm so sorry that you have to go through that. you will definitely be in my thoughts.. please let me know if you need any energy. i always have some extra happiness lying around! you are right to try to stay strong for your family. but try for you too. i am sure the goddess will provide for you..
(((((((hugs)))))))),

My father-in-law had kidney disease and was on dialysis. My husband was even a dialysis technician until his father passed. But I remember his father, Manny, being ill sometimes and when he wasn't he would be so happy and loved to listen to music and dance. He had so much to offer, I wish I had had more time to know him. He wanted me to try a spanish jam, guava and I didn't want to so one day we were out and he bought some cookies at the spanish store and gave me one, which I love cookies, and he asked what do you think? do you like it? I said yes it's very good and he said that's guava! So please don't forget all you have to offer in this lifetime! It may be something small like the cookie for me or you may change someones life. Everything happens for a reason and anything is possible!

I worked about a year as a Dialysis Tech about six years ago.
How I wish I could just pass out new kidney's!

I have no answers or fancy words for you. I can only say what is in my heart.

I send you love and energies. I will continue to visualize you receiving a kidney and a complete recovery.

Blessed Be

My husband had a TIA and it was caused by Avandia, which then caused kidney problems and he has to have blood tests once a month to see how the toxcins in his blood are doing at one point the BUN was up to 45, his creatinine levels were also very high too! His doctor said now alot of people are having the same kidney problems that he is having that were on Avandia. Plus he has high blood pressure. My heart goes out to you!! I am here if you need to talk :)

Blessing to you

I feel for you and what you are going through. I am an asthmatic - though not the same. But both can weigh heavy upon ones soul/spirit, etc. And you always come to the point of 'Why hang in there?'.
I don't know, I wish I had the answer, but I don't. So hang in there maybe there is something out there left for you to discover and laugh about and at.